Connection? No connection.

Am I really who I think I am?

There are increasingly more times in my life when I find myself questioning the fundamentals of everything I believe. Why to I even believe them? How much influence does my emotional state have on the decisions I’m making and the things I’m thinking–and who I am? Rather a lot I suspect.

I was thinking at one time of Jan and I just taking off in our RV, selling everything here and “leaving it all behind”. How realistic is that?

Turns out a) it’s easier said than done and b) it would be so disruptive (all I have around me is very much, intrinsically who I am). Can you imagine just instantly (or nearly instantly) taking on a whole new personality? The old you vanishes, and a new you immediately takes its place?

It occurred to me (not too long ago) that there’s absolutely no connection. I can have both/and. There’s absolutely no connection between everything that’s out there, and what I want.

Jan working on her gnomes.

Jan tells me (often): Feel the fear and do it anyway. I have started to feel like that’s not only doable, but very important. All the little projects I invent for myself? It really doesn’t matter whether I ever accomplish them all. As long as I keep moving forward. There’s no connection.

About Gerry Wieder

Gerry is a former Registered Nurse, currently living in the Seattle area of the United States.
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